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Hiccups
Nora walks down the stairs of her apartment and into the street, exactly the way she always does. As she does this, she waves hello to each passing person, just like every other day. She walks into her favorite coffee shop where her very best friend, Kate, works. Her friend always makes Nora her favorite iced drink, and today was no different. Nora reaches across the counter when suddenly the ice cold liquid splashes onto her pale face. She looks up to see that the purposely splattered beverage came from Kate. Kate hands her a second coffee that was already prepared. Nora tells her “thank you,” and leaves with a smile.
Nora makes her way down the sidewalk anticipating to see her good friend, Owen. Each Tuesday he lets her pass in front of him at the crosswalk. Lucky for Nora, today happens to be Tuesday! Excited to see him, she waves her free hand above her head, and he waves back. As soon as she drops off of the curb, Owen steps on his gas, driving right into her. Nora picks herself up off the ground, upset that she lost a second coffee. “Thanks Owen! Nice try, but it didn’t work!” Nora says laughing.
She crosses the street and a man immediately grabs her. The stranger holds his gun against Nora’s head with immense pressure. Without a word, his arm collapses to his side, and he releases her. He smiles slightly, and Nora flashes a huge grin back at him. She then tells the man, “You are much better at scaring me than my friends are!”
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Artist: Julia Lotz School: North Allegheny |
Notes: |
Elizabeth Bove from:
North Allegheny
- posted: October 19, 2012
Hey Julia! Your story was awesome! I read it the first time, and was slightly confused because I didn't apply the title to the story, but once I did I laughed out loud. It was really funny and clever, great job.
Brandi Gerthoffer from:
North Allegheny
- posted: October 19, 2012
I really liked it. I liked the fact that at the end, she was only being scared by her friend. I was actually concerned for the girl when it said that the car was going towards her, but changing it so it was only a scare technique made it seem a lot more funnier.
Elizabeth Bove from:
North Allegheny
- posted: October 19, 2012
Julia, your piece was really suprising. The first time I read it, I didn't understand. But then I applied the title to the story and I laughed out loud. It is really funny, great job!
Allison Reed from:
North Allegheny
- posted: October 19, 2012
This was very good. I thought it was very funny that her friends were trying to scare her, but in the very end they were unsuccessful. I can't believe that her friends were beaten by someone holding a gun to her head. Still, very good. Keep at it.
Robbie Stephens from:
North Allegheny
- posted: October 19, 2012
Overall a very well written flash fiction. I was confused and then at the end it all came to a head. I like the topic of subject and you did a great job of buliding up suspence. You also did a very good job of making me believe that her friends did not like her. And i just thought about that the title works great now that i think of it. Her friends are trying to scare the hiccups out of her. Hahahaha very funny im very amused now. Great job.
Tim Gill from:
North Allegheny
- posted: October 19, 2012
This made me laugh. As i started reading I wasn't sure where the story was going, and I was very confused when her friends splashed coffee in her face and ran her over with a car. But, you ended it perfectly explaining everything with just one last sentence. Quality job Juju.
